Mar '20

08.03.2020 - present - Social Distancing: a log.

Day 1 Sunday
Schools closed,
partner is at work,
child is home and I'm stuck
my work is inflexible,
the pressure is mounting so I resort to improvisations.
Pack a picnic, an armful of DVD's, iPad, chargers, laptop, water.
The car becomes a makeshift quarantine play area,
she's happy as she's with mum,
work will be happy as I/m
onsite and working on the server
the problem is,
they are not happy,
in fact, they think this is totally unacceptable.
I have to make arrangements I can't afford
or take unpaid leave
which I can't afford
why is my family being held accountable when I'm trying to do my job
when did reproduction become such an inconvenience to the masses
have they not considered that when they are elderly and need a specialist to save their life it might be my daughter?
When they need someone to turn on their water heater, fix their car, carry the shopping, our children may be the ones that will help?
I'm sorry that my breeding is such an inconvenience to you, I hope you are not seen as an inconvenience to today's young when you are old and need help.

Day 2 Monday
Let's make
we fold paper and chat about things we like,
coveting the pretty tapes strewn across the table
the time flows with giggles and sticky stuff
ideas are passed,
lunch is eaten
time is taken
lessons and concentration are enforced followed by play in the yard
bikes and chalk

Day 3 Tuesday
Tutorial
A productive day
paperwork is completed on time
dinner is cooked
children are occupied

Day 4 Wednesday
We make Notans
positive and negative space
expanding squares in times of restriction
play continues and time is gained in occupation

Day 5 Thursday
We make collages
the wind blows and giggles reverberate
paper and glue are a match made in quarantine
my offspring flourishes
the lack of creative restriction allows her to blend and position as she see fit,
a beautiful moment of creativity
trips to the supermarket for food
work is done in another's office
singing to kids songs
Birthday drinks and BBQs
almost cancelled due to contamination fears
friends making me laugh
meowing through the night

Day 6 Friday
Tears
feeling sick
advantages are taken
that's not appropriate
I'm not an object
you can't have me
Pool sitting
splashing and relaxing
time with family
pretend like nothing happened

Day 7 Saturday
Quiet time
working together
watching movies
running and eating
sleeping throughout the day
naps are needed by all it seems

Day 8 Sunday
no art today
we organise and make a plan
finding mixes for cakes
making objects from paper
playing and working in the house

Day 9 Monday
a birthday
cake
finding space in another person's place
getting work done
finding quiet before
a full house
swimming
pizza
fire and wine

Day 10 Tuesday
self-imposed lockdown 1
things have changed
anxieties have risen
overnight the tone has changed
we close the doors to playdates and cups of tea
we shut out the world and feel a little worried
meal plans are made
stocks are counted
arguments happen
tensions rise
I run

Day 11 Wednesday
self-imposed lockdown 2
a day of tension with the loved ones
no space
no listening
no let up
Driving too fast to get away
cycle place is closed
driving to a quiet space to cry
to feel sorry for myself
returning home to hostility
tensions maintained
distracted by
phone games with friends

Day 12 Thursday
self-imposed lockdown 3
more tension
a dead crow
fear-mongering
I'm losing my shit
I can't get a moments peace
I can't get any work done,
It's taken 6 hours two write this one piece.
I'm making planes, food, toys, more snacks, answering questions, getting drinks
Not doing any of the shit I actually need to do.
A walk is needed,
A walk works
with voice notes from friends
and songs to sing
and fresh air
for a moment's clarity
that I don't like being kept in.
The evening of games
via social media
friends keeping each other occupied

Day 13 Friday
waking in a better mood,
messages from friends spread globally
finding solace that for once this anxiety is shared
planning calls and making breakfast
teaching life skills and listening to music
folding more planes
making more plans
today we dance and sing
we take time apart in small corners of our tiny dwelling

The diary fell away, I had a meltdown, I got over it and then proceeded to melt down again.

I don't like restrictions, not many do, but some definitely cope better than others. There is talk of a new normal I feel that hides resentment, its another mask to cover the angst from the unknown.

I work, juggle, childcare, study, work repeat. Lather, wash, rinse, repeat. Women's labour comes under scrutiny, both for good and for worse, suddenly it appears we're over worked, suddenly we're more over worked. Default parent, default fixer, support worker, feeder, cleaner. suddenly the gendered roles come in to view, 'suddenly' as they were not there before, or perhaps they were just over looked with so many distractions.

27.02.2020 - 10.03.2020 - Photostudio session

Thursday's are the end of the working week in the UAE, it's a quiet day at work. I utilised the time to make use of the photographic studio at work. Precariously transporting all of my tiles to the studio in plastic tubs, shrouded in tissue and bubble wrap, slowing my SUV down over bumps to preserve my precious load.

I considered the state of the works and the black paper background so begain shooting the 'clean' works first, starting with the books.

My leporello books have been hoarded in plastic folders since the end of MA2, their only outing since their conception was the photo session on my living room floor for submission. I felt sorry for their neglected forms; their conjoined pages sleeping peacefully on top of each other or perhaps uncomfortable at the proximity and lack of breathing space, at least if they could breath that is.

Towering in a perilous pile,
teetering on the verge of collapse
I watch you
and pray
for one more moment
just a minute more of time
to admire your form
the innate elegance
of your form
stacked
displaying all your components
subtle foibles
I snap away
capturing this moment infinity
until you tumble down

All of the Books - Stacked

All of the Books - Stacked

Restricted Books

Leporello Books - unrestricted I

Leporello Books - unrestricted II

Leporello Books - detail

I splay you open
unceremoniously
you tumble on top of each other
looking for support you cannot give
As your insides slump to the ground
Your mass is sumptuous
A fibre, graphite and tape assemblage

Soap Faux Book I

Soap Faux Book I

Soap Faux Book II

Soap - Stacked

disappointingly only a few piece of soap tile, although their modesty allowed for opportunity. A faux book form as created, a consideration to display, to binding, and construction. how would this function, book of soap? How would it be held together, how long would it last. could the pages be turned, and if they could what or who's story would be told?

Wax -Stacked I

Wax -Stacked I

Wax - Stacked II

Wax and Plaster - Stacked I

Wax and Plaster - Stacked II

Wax and Plaster - Stacked III

Plaster - Stacked II

Plaster - Stacked I

Then I stack my wax tiles. These precious morsels of carbon and paraffin, flammable, meltable, solid yet fragile. Tiles of wax impregnated with drawing materials, monoprint combinations of hot liquid and cold pulverulence.

Automatically they take on a taxonomy of tone, the weight of the black pigment heavy at the bottom. This needs to be reset, a second session of differing taxonomies, of weight distribution, of material contrasts.

The light glimmers through their luminous forms, dissipating as the pigment consumes it lower down.

Steadily the plaster tiles of small form are placed neatly in their monolithic form, rising up to greet the wax stronghold, but missing the pinnacle.

Their codification is the antithesis of the wax, they lack luminosity, they are dense in their opacity, they are brittle in their fragility and smooth and powdery in their texture.

Wax and Plaster - Stacked IV

Wax and Plaster - Stacked IV

The large tiles complete the line up, their absorbing facades are hidden by each other, one lucky subject is exposed for admiration. How does it read to know there is the possibility of more faces to be seen, hidden in a mass of tiles. Multiples defined by the single that is credited with the dominant allocation.

Plaster - Stacked Precariously I

Plaster - Stacked Precariously I

Plaster - Stacked Precariously II

To contrast the classifications and grouping of the previous displays, These large tiles are given an opportunity to communicate. Piled high with a twist, exposing corners and edges that were previously unseen in the towers before. Dialogue ensues between the jostling of placements, the fighting for attention and consideration.

Tiles - Stacked Taxonomies I

Tiles - Stacked Taxonomies I

Tiles - Stacked Taxonomies II

Tiles - Stacked Taxonomies III

Finally the small tiles are arranged in aesthetics forms, with similar treatments grouped together in camaraderie. A bland a none taxing for of display. No mystery here, purely techniques that may or may not be deemed successful.